Dating is a skill. And like any skill, it needs practice for one to be good at it. More often than not, we find people getting very nervous and, in some cases, even anxious at the prospect of going out and meeting someone new. In a matchmaking scenario, the added pressure of that individual being the potential “one” can be nerve-wracking because of which they shy away from the process altogether. Here are some things we have seen over the years that work if you are getting the jitters –
The Right Location
Familiarity can give you comfort, so request your date to meet you at a place that you know well. The ambience would be to your liking, you would know how to dress for the venue, their best food and drinks – all of which will boost your confidence. You can take initiative with ordering that will also serve as a starting point to building an interesting conversation. If it’s a virtual call, sit in a space that is cozy and private. Choose good lighting and keep a few knick knacks in the background that gives your date clues about your personality, like your favorite book, a picture of your pet or a souvenir from your travels.
Nothing releases anxiety more than articulating your feelings. Let your date know that you are anxious. They might share words of reassurance or tell you that they are equally nervous themselves! It will also ensure that they don’t take your nervousness as strange or standoffish behaviour.
A little preparation goes a long way! Prepare a mental note of the kind of questions you would like to ask and the topics you would like to avoid. Keeping answers handy on topics that might make you feel vulnerable is always a good idea.
Stay in the Now
Dating anxiety stems from the need to seem perfect and leave a good first impression. It makes people obsess over every little detail like their appearance, posture, throw of words, choice of footwear etc. Focus on what is being spoken about, and sush that little voice in your head that is making you think about all the things that can go wrong.
Try and Be Positive
It is easy to think that things are not going well when your date doesn’t laugh at that joke you have been practicing all day. Hoping for the desired response on everything is unrealistic so when you start feeling negative, look for evidence that the date is going well. If they smiled when you arrived, are asking you questions, shared something personal about their life, etc all point to the fact that they too are enjoying the date.
To find the one, you have to step out of your comfort zone, put yourselves out there and meet people. So the next time you are nervous about your date, remember – they are too!