The dichotomy of the woke folk of today is that on one hand, they say they hate labels but on the other, they painstakingly define every little phenomenon or behaviour in their lives, be it their work environments, sexuality, relationships….you name it! We have entered a new year and with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, we thought it was time to refresh our dating vocabulary. Incidentally, these phrases are also on our list of top toxic behaviours to avoid. If you want to keep abreast with the dating dictionary for 2022…. read on!
Bread Crumbing – This one’s a classic. The etymology comes from the children’s story Hansel and Gretel in which they left a trail of breadcrumbs behind to find their way out of the forest. It refers to the good old act of sending signals of interest without actually having any intentions to commit. Also commonly known as ‘leading someone on’. A breadcrumber would typically send brief and sporadic messages, digital morsels if you will, such as short texts or Instagram likes, which indicate that they like you when in reality they’re unlikely to pursue a relationship at all.
Love Bombing – People want their ideal partner to be someone who showers them with compliments, makes them the centre of their universe and takes care of them. An extreme version of this behaviour is called Love Bombing. A typical love bomber would attempt to win someone over with large demonstrations of attention, gifts and affection. These are not authentic gestures and is in fact a manipulative tactic used by narcissistic and abusive individuals to gain control and make one co-dependant on them in an unhealthy manner.
Situationship – This is a romantic or sexual relationship that is casual or undefined. If you don’t talk about the future, don’t meet their friends, don’t go out on any real dates or if your entire relationship, if you can call it that, is based on convenience – you, my friend, are in a situationship.
Ghosting – This one’s rather famous and plagues those who are on dating apps. It is ending all contact and communication with someone you are dating without explanation. Poof! they disappear like a ghost. They don’t respond to calls, text messages or pings on social media.
Submarining – This is akin to the resurrection. Submarining is when someone randomly returns after ghosting acting as if nothing happened. They behave as if you’d be exactly where they left you emotionally and try and weasel their way back into your life. Also known as paper clipping or zombieing.
Orbiting – Another form of breadcrumbing but subtler and happens after you have been in a relationship. They partially ghost you yet remain in your orbit by engaging with your social media content making it difficult for you to move on.
Benching – This one’s too common in the matchmaking scenario and is rather hurtful. It is the practice of keeping a potential partner on hold or (on the bench) in case no other option works out.
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